Wow.. a sEvEn month hiatus from this spot.. and after this, probably another 7. Seems like life is full of these breaks - breaks in relationships, friendships and my favourite - studies!

So I spent 3 weeks in India, after a 5 year break and it was refreshing.. The last time I was there for a week - the Hindus were baying for Muslim blood (so much for respecting all life) and there was a curfew everywhere. Seems the country’s been moving ahead in a frenzy since then, esp. in terms of infrastructure - countless new malls and outlets that were unbeknownst there before have sprouted up together with spanking new highways in some parts. However, it clings to the same in other aspects - getting pulled over in the middle of highways by portly, paan-chewing policemen who want a bribe and the continued presence of beggars on street corners.

Before that, a mistake. Of doing special semester. And no, its not for ’special people’ - although now I certainly feel like a retard. In 6 weeks, I learnt how differing levels of aspiration and motivation can lead to disparity over an end product. Never again. My grades resemble the Asian Currency Crisis of ‘97. A broke vision. Everything’s taken a plummet and from all indications - will take the rest of my college life to pull back to normalcy, if it happens.

I know about taking a breather in a relationship - but in close friendship? Is it ok? Issues of trust and the weight your voice carries in making decisions - won’t these get affected? Isn’t it wrong to obsess over your status among close friends and compare yourself to them? Friendship is supposed to result from being comfortable in the company of one another. Looking past faults and using each others’ strengths to better yourself. Close friendship is the result of a level of trust where covering each others’ backs goes without saying. Taking errant friends back into the fold is done in a heartbeat but what about the bond? Does it remain or is it broken? Does the friendship ever regain its former importance?

Despite knowing that the e-book was easily and illegally available online, I awaited with much anticipation the release of Harry Potter’s final instalment on 21st July. I think there were a couple of reasons for this. One, I hate reading books on the PC - it bores me easily.. and second, I wanted to drag it out as much as possible. So it came, I read and I devoured. And now an interminable break. An epic I’ve followed since its inception has come to a close. My eyes have flitted across its final chapter. Although nowhere near the grandeur of the Lord of the Rings, it was definitely an easier read and required just as much imagination to write!! Guess now its over, I can finally grow up!

Lucky for me, with so much more pressure expected in Year 3 of college, I will be unable to follow the EPL much. It was heartrending to learn of Henry leaving Arsenal, breaking his loyalty and switching to Barca though I am sure he will be cheered upon his return to the Emirates anytime. I feel Wenger did the right thing in letting him go -  No player can be bigger than the club. From here on, Arsenal will no longer be dependant on any one player to deliver the goods. Players like van Persie, Denilson, Adebayor and Fabregas will step up and bring Arsenal forward under Gilberto’s captaincy. I foresee better cohesion in the team and less of a struggle as compared to the last two seasons of finishing at least 4th. However, the Beautiful Game has no doubt, shifted to Barca. Arsenal’s finesse will suffer without Henry’s presence. Now if only Wenger bought a couple of established names- it would make the transition to life without Henry a lot easier to palate.

I think I’ll end here and take a break from all the writing!

January sneaked in the backdoor,
Is it really 2007?
College resumes - oh what a chore.
No more staying up past eleven! (yea right!)

Knockin’ my head against the wall..
A week past and i’m behind-
In modules I slip and fall,
An elusive rhythm I must find!

I scraped thru last semester,
Without an ounce of knowledge gained..
A month my brain has festered,
And now the race begins again!

I had a memorable weekend in the form of my first real camping trip outside of National Service. I went trekking up Mount Ophir, in the northern part of Johor, Malaysia with a group of 7 others. Supposedly the 6th most difficult to climb in Malaysia, the 1276m mountain certainly offered me a challenge that I relished.

Although we met up at around 8.30am at Woodlands on Saturday, we did not get to the base of the mountain until 2.30pm. And of course, as we found out over the course of the weekend, the weather was certainly not our ally! I think all ideas of an easy hike up dissolved after the first few minutes of climbing and most of us were tired by the time we got to the 1st checkpoint, where we hooked up with a guide. I’d like to put it down to the heavy backpacks we were lugging with us but personally, my fitness has been suspect for some time now! Getting to our campsite and setting up camp took up the rest of the day, but most of us had a super-cool, refreshing dip in the stream we were situated beside! No prizes for guessing that we all slept like babies.

We set off for the summit the following morning carrying a lot less, and bumped into a lot of Singaporeans on the way, many of whom were also students from NUS!! Apparently, they had struck out for the summit at 2am in the morning in order to catch the sunrise! Having experienced the climb myself,I doubt that sort of thought would ever cross my mind! The climb up was even tougher than Day 1 and at checkpoint 7, after giving it his all, one of our numbers decided he could go no further. By this time, we had been caught in the rain once and it was drizzling on and off. Feelings of euphoria erupted from all when we reached the top. The wind was blowing hard and cold, and we were literally amongst the clouds. We stayed for about 15 minutes, before climbing down to a slightly more secure location for our lunch. That’s when the heavens decided to pour down.

We were drenched, muddy and in pretty low spirits by the time we got back to our campsite just before sunset. During the descent, we were forced to change our route as the river volume had increased dramatically and the current was much stronger. We were forced to wade thru river up to our chest level. Throughout the trek though, our guide was fantastic. He was easy to talk to, always smiling and kept our spirits up! He even came up with nicknames for most of us.. luckily, I escaped that!

We cooked a sumptious meal in our 8-man tent over a bunsen burner as the weather was so unreliable, and we ended up playing a silly story game that produced a really silly story! Can’t say I slept as well that 2nd night though..

The descent down to the base was a total travesty as it began raining as soon as we started and continued all the way down! Slipping and sliding was the order of the day and our tired and aching bodies had a torrid time! We reached the base, changed up and hauled ourselves back to Singapore! Of course, the journey across the causeway was another story in itself, with the long jam and wet weather slowing us down considerably!

Definitely a learning experience and fun in its own way! I certainly wouldn’t mind trying something more extravagant next time out!

Dilmah leaves have spoilt my tea-
Now I feel like an anchorless ship,
Afloat in the middle of the sea-
I’m barely hanging, afraid I’ll slip!

Elders taking me to task
for the supposed Odd hours I keep
Is it a crime, I ask?
I’m on holiday, let me sleep!

Fingers crossed that a chapter might finally close
Three fourths a year its been going,
Its lost or stole - whichever, its a heavy dose
And its effects are showing.

Insinuations of secrecy,
Lack of faith and trust..
Easygoing friends policy-
Turned to dust

Need to end it with a call-
‘Coz its time to look ahead!
A quarter it lasted and during its fall,
It was great but its hit bottom now- and its dead!

End this mind a wandering
Keeping me awake
When will it settle?
‘Coz I need a break!

Haven’t been updating this spot for some time, with good reason. Life’s moving at a frenzy so using this slight breather (term break) to blow off the dust a little.

Unfortunately, the final day of my exams is the 5th of December 2006 ( I think) so til then, I wouldn’t expect any proper updates. Meanwhile, my sleeping patterns have gone from abnormal to non-existent as I spend my day dreaming and night watching useless soaps instead of concentrating on the task at hand. I’ll come around soon enough though! And in other news, old wounds still don’t have a chance to heal as scabs keep getting re-opened. Let’s cross our fingers and hope there isn’t an indelible scar.

Its all positive otherwise. Relishing the unrelished. Nostalgia creeping in a little. Mono-convos. Full rein over the horsepower til the 9th of next month… go figure!

How’re you doing?

School’s going from bad to worse. I don’t know why.. but somehow, I feel that I am not coping as well as I’d have liked with the work. And listening to the horror stories about exams.. its really demoralising. Besides this downpoint however, its been pretty good.. I’ve joined the executive committees of a couple of clubs that I’m really excited about. And I intend to play a couple of sports for my hall, hopefully get into the team (but basic aim’s just to have fun and get fit!) and I’m joining the web team - give our hall website a facelift. I honestly hope it doesn’t turn into a case of biting off more than I can chew.

My first priority has to be attaining those impossible grades and prove to myself that I still have it in me to do it. I certainly hope that friends who see less of me this year will understand my motivations and urge me on… *sigh* My NS savings, which less than a month ago, seemed so vast, have dwindled to almost nothingness.. This simply means cutting back on enjoyment even further.. since printing and photocopying costs a lot but comes first!! And it also means that very soon, I’ll have to look for monetary sources… I’m hoping to land a couple of tuition kids soon.. if not this year, then definitely from next semester onwards!!

Well peeps, this is as succinctly as I could describe the path life’s taking at the moment. It seems very different from the "relaxed me" I am so used to and hopefully, it’ll help me discover more about who I am or can be!

Keepin’ it real!!

Feels like its been so long since I wrote my last blog. And in all
honesty, things can change so swiftly in life that you don’t seem to be
the same person from one instant to another! You go thru these radical
mindshifts- old paradigms smashed and replaced. Your outlook in life
shifts focus and suddenly, you don’t recognize yourself.. The last
couple of weeks have been those winds of change blowing around me. To
explain would open a pandora’s box- which is not the type of person I
am!

It’ll probably raise more than a few eyebrows among friends ( I can
imagine the "yea right" and the "BULLSHIT" coughs) who still see me the
way I am, though a little stressed (and no, its not from school).
Outwardly, to the world at large, I am still the same old - ‘el Don’ or
‘Slut’ or ‘Harami’ and to some just that ‘Nice, Quiet Boy’ (*gasp*)-
and I will continue to be. However, these masks are just that! I am all
of the above- yet none of them. These identities somehow manage to hide
what I am- a constant search with ever-changing results. Fear is such
motivation, it causes people to take drastic actions - like severe
ties, backbite people, remain stuck in the past or race ahead without
looking back at what’s being left behind. If you observe these in
action, you’ll notice it has a ripple effect on those around. Strange
thing is, every person affected becomes one more epicentre- with a new
set of ripples. Wave after wave. The ripple effect.

I’m alone, and I know it. And I want to be alone- because I don’t want
to be an epicentre. But that would mean shunning life. Turning my face
away from the reason for existence.  Trust and faith in those around
you leads to nothing but more angst, because a slight impurity will
result in complete corruption of this trust. Hence, trust no one. So
what charades have I been playing? Has it all been a lie? Possibly,
though I sincerely hope not. Am I afraid? Terribly. I just prefer
keeping this fear within my control.. but have I lost control?  Maybe..
and I don’t know where it will lead me and those associated.

I feel I’ve written a lot of something, and a lot about nothing. A confused attempt at making sense. Welcome to my life!

Strike Three! I’m out!

Soooo… Its been pretty much a home-oriented weekend thus far!

It began with a veil of mystery and suspense… A midnight mSn chat and a phone call led me to believe something heavy was going down! So a meeting was called the following evening and the group gathered for a round of drinks in a club for older people, in town, overlooking a well-kept cricket pitch and overshadowed by roman-influenced courts. Light conversation, usual nitpicking at one another, rare occasions of eye-candy and drinks in most of our hands meant that a couple of hours flew by in the blink of an eye - well, almost! With the choice of clubbing renounced all around, we turned to other forms of entertainment..

As the evening progressed, we decided to pit our business acumen and luck against one another at a friend’s place. Trashtalking, a possibility of picking up someone on the MRT that turned out to be a dud, and a lucky escape from a $50 fine later, we arrived at our destination. And the Players sat down to a game of Monopoly! Well, actually, the first round finished pretty quickly, and everyone voted for a second one! And believe it or not, it captured all our attentions for the entire night, with the Champ, your truly, only able to stamp his authority and lay claim to glory at half past 4 in the night! We ate supper (or should it be early breakfast) half-asleep… And made our way home around 6! It really turned out to be a superb alternative and I’m glad every1 was up for it!

Saturday was spent lazing at home (since I only woke up at 4), watching downloaded movies on the computer (and no, its not porn!) and heading down to ‘Joo Chiat’ for a spot of shopping in the late evening with the family.. After which we stopped by for banter at an uncle’s place, dining on cheesy baguettes with cili padi (a weird concoction that tasted delightful!) and watching hindi tv serials! 

And unfortunately for me, my sleeping patterns are so out of sorts that I’m still awake at 3 tonight (or should it be Sunday morning?!), with nothing to do and sleep still proving an elusive lady to snare! Therefore, I turn to typing this out in the hopes of inducing a few yawns and that heavy feeling behind your lids!! hmmmmm… I think I sense it comin’ now!! Adios~!

Very rarely, you receive something really apt about your situation in your email.. so I just had to share this with everyone! I’m sure most people would agree with this…

You and Your Boss : The Subtle Differences

If you take a long time, you’re slow.
But if your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough.

If you don’t do it, you’re lazy.
But if your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.

If you make a mistake, you’re a goober.
But if your boss makes a mistake, he’s ‘only human’.

If you take a stand, you’re being bull-headed.
But if your boss does it, he’s being firm.

If you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you’re being rude.
But if your boss skips a few rules, he’s being original.

If you do something without being told, you’re overstepping your authority.
But if your boss does the same thing, he’s taking initiative.

If you’re on a day off sick, you’re ‘always’ sick.
But if your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

If you’re out of the office, you’re wandering around.
But if your boss is out of the office, he’s on business.

If you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
But if your boss applies for leave, it’s because he’s overworked.